To coincide with the new series of Channel 4’s One Born Every Minute -4^th January 9pm, people have been asked to share their stories on the role of Dads at the birth, their presence even.  Here is our experience.

Patience is always something I’ve never had time for, yet I never imagined that I would go into premature labour and give birth to Boo at only 34 weeks pregnant.  The day I went into labour was to me just another ‘boring’ day pregnant, where I was becoming increasingly bigger and found it harder to nip about.  My partner Danny was away in Cyprus with the army on a six month tour, so the closest I got to manly support was motivational Skype conversations which often descended into either a nagging fest or a tear bath – both on my part.  Due to complications with me I was booked for a caesarean while Danny would be back in the UK on R&R; perfect planning for a complete control freak like me.

For the previous 10 weeks I had complained of extreme back ache and generally feeling that something wasn’t ‘quite right’.  I was assured everything was indeed fine and that I was just panicking which was to be expected with a first baby.

After an arduous afternoon of DIY, I settled down on the sofa to give this whole pregnancy napping lark a go.  A couple of hours later I waddled to the toilet and discovered blood everywhere. I’ll be honest my first thought was that I had lost the baby. Despite this I felt immensely calm and phoned the assessment centre at Lincoln County Hospital.  The midwife advised me to pack an overnight bag and go in.  As I was packing I phoned Danny in Cyprus to tell him what was going on. At this stage premature labour was the last thing on our minds so he just reassured me that everything was fine and that if I needed to talk I only had to call.

Once in the hospital, I became restless waiting to see a doctor and had convinced myself everything was ok as I had felt the baby kick.  An hour later I started to get period like pains and asked for a drink, a few minutes later the doctor arrived, examined me and informed me that I was 9cm dilated and that she could see the head!

All throughout my pregnancy I had been resolute that Danny would be present at the birth, and if for whatever reason he wasn’t I would never forgive him. Yet the following hours all I could think about was the next time I saw him, our beautiful baby girl would be in my arms.  It was at this point that I was introduced to a paediatrician to talk about complications with a premature baby, and in particular without the labouring of the aby though the birth canal.  After frantic discussions we agreed that under heavy supervision I would attempt to labour naturally to give Boo the best possible chance.

The day Danny went on tour he gave me a credit card sized contact card for JCCC – The Joint Casualty and Compassionate Centre, ‘just in case’. Whilst the anaesthetist was administering the epidural I was stating my case to a total stranger on the telephone why Danny should be returned to the UK on compassionate leave.  I’ll be honest it was hard work and I probably owe the gentleman I spoke to an apology as my temper was in short supply that night!

After a nail bitingly anxious twenty minute wait, I received the news that Danny would be flying back from Cyprus on the next available flight.  Elated that he was coming home I looked to my midwife – Anne for the reassuring nod that he would be there for the birth.  Instead she told me that there was no way that Boo was waiting for anything even her Daddy!

I was crushed. I asked for a few moments alone and privately sobbed – this isn’t how I imagined welcoming our daughter into the world. I soon pulled myself together and got on with the task in hand – getting this baby out!

Boo was born at 7.23 on Sunday 24^th July 2011.  At which point Danny was in the air, and I had my Mother who had managed to make it up from London in time.  We were so lucky that Boo was all in all a healthy beautiful baby; although after only a few minutes together she was taken up to Neonatal Intensive Care due to her prematurity.  It was this point that I found hardest without Danny being there – we had together made her and I felt like we should be there to care for her and with me just having given birth, it seemed only natural that he would have gone with her so she wasn’t alone.

Danny met Boo just after 2pm on the Sunday afternoon after being driven from RAF Brize Norton straight to the hospital by the Army.  Never have I been so happy to see him, or so proud to show him our achievement – the fruits of my labour!! Yes I gave birth to Boo and isn’t she perfect.

So the question remains. Does the father being absent from the birth have a profound effect on bonding with the bay and the relationship between parents afterwards?  For us, the circumstance were so that it wasn’t physically possible, I kept Danny in my mind throughout the whole labour and in some ways him not being there was positive as it allowed me to stay focused even when I was petrified.

My advice: you can have the best plans, but in the end childbirth is something that cannot be slotted into a busy schedule no matter how hard you try.  Even if the father can’t be present, remember why you’re having a child and the love you have for each other – anyway they can always make it up to you later!

500 miles in 24 hours but what a journey it was. Wow. I can report that BBC Breakfast’s red sofa is really rather comfortable and thanks to my ninja like reactions remains posit free. In case you have been hibernating from the world of mummy and boo: Yes we not only made it to BBC Television Centre in London but Boo pulled the hat out of the bag and charmed her way through six minutes of live national television.  It may be over a week ago yet feedback is still coming in thick and fast.  The reaction has been amazing, with the majority of you being completely in awe of Boo’s utter professionalism, not to mention stage presence.

Despite the 4am start Boo and I were bright eyed and bushy tailed, fuelled with an abundance of excitement. From the moment we were directed from the main gate to our allocated parking space (very V.I.P.!) we were met by such kindness from the runner to the floor manager not forgetting the two wonderful ladies in hair and make-up, without whom many viewers would have been scarred for life by my not so yummy mummy appearance!

Once Boo grew tired of the green room, the signal was given for us to make our way to the sofa along with Professor Katherine Rake CEO of the Institute or Family and Parenting where Charlie and Susanna were waiting for us. We barely had time to settle down until it was lights camera, action! For those that know us, we were our usual self and it wasn’t until around half way through that it clicked just how many people were watching this – I mean we’re talking MILLIONS! – You can spot this moment by the sudden inclusion of a few too many ‘Erms’!

By 8.30 were sat in Carluccio’s in Wimbledon Village enjoying a well deserved breakfast with our entourage aka Mummy/Grand-ma. All in a day’s work for Mummy and Boo!

So now the presents are opened and the waistlines well and truly ruined, how was our first Christmas as a blended family?

I’m pleased to report that there have been no fatalities, which is a result for any family over the festive period, blended or not.  Christmas Day itself was a rather quiet affair – although I’m still getting use to six people in a house being ‘quiet’!  If my youth translation skills are anything to go by, the Stinkies were pretty please with their gifts, and it had been so long since I wrapped some of them that they were indeed a surprise for me too! It turns out that Christmas isn’t Boo’s favourite time of the year; she took this opportunity to remind us mere mortals that she has the power to reduce the household to a quivering wreck at the click of her delicate fingers!

The biggest challenge I felt for a successful Christmas was the food. So in order to strike the perfect balance we did breakfast my way with a continental breakfast with plenty of champagne flowing – an essential for any family festivities.  Christmas lunch was traditional with a cheeky twist at the finale in the way of a Christmas pudding cheesecake.

To sum up Christmas in the Mummy and Boo house: happy, yes – yet I think we’ll need a few more years before everyone or at least the adults can really relax.  There’s no doubt that Christmas is a stressful occasion so add to the mix, separated parents, stepmothers, and new babies, it’ bound to be a sometimes strained and trying time.

One thing that Christmas 2011 has taught me: the devil is in the detail – thank goodness for that last minute dash to the shops for chocolate coins. No Christmas stocking is complete without a Satsuma and a handful of melting gold coins!

Tomorrow morning will see the TV world premiere of Mummy and Boo. Boo and I have been invited to appear on the red sofa of BBC Breakfast to discuss blended families and what Christmas will be like for us. We will be joined by Dr Katherine Rake OBE, CEO of The Family and Parenting Institute. I recently wrote a post as contributor for Mums on the Blog, Blended with Bits – describing what it’s like for me adjusting to life as the Mother of a blended family. The producers of the show are hoping for Mummy and Boo to add a bubbly element – not too sure how bubbly I’ll be after a 4am start!!

It’s all been very last minute so it hasn’t really sunk in yet that we will be live on national television two days before Christmas. It’s only in the last hour or so that I’ve started to panic about what to wear, let’s be honest post baby bodies are hardly conducive with fattening TV cameras! Fashion frivolities aside, Boo and I are super excited for tomorrow morning and can’t wait to grace the famous red sofa. I only have one teeny weeny concern – how to keep Boo content while on air?! This is where you guys come in – what do you suggest is the best way to entertain Boo on the sofa; toy? Tething ring? Or perhaps Charlie’s tie?!

So I know it’s lot to ask two days before Christmas but it would be great if you could tune in to BBC one from 7.30am to watch Boo and I do what we do best, chatter, cuddle and laugh!

So the cobwebs are starting to form on mummyandboo.com.  With Christmas morning winking at me cheekily, it’s been hectic to say the least.  Boo has been busy testing the acoustics of all major shopping centres with her growing lungs whilst I struggle to differentiate between the old and new Ben 10 so as not to disappoint the youngest stinky.

However my trusty keyboard hasn’t been completely idle.  Last week saw my first article as contributor on Mums on the Blog published.  Blended with Bits is my take on our very blended family, stepchildren and all!  I think it’s fair to say that the piece was well received by the man and stinkies, although Boo is yet to deliver her final verdict!

Mums on the Blog describes itself as ‘Yep! Another Mummy site…’ This isn’t all true; Mums on the Blog brings together a entirely eclectic mix of contributors some seasoned and some barely thawed just like me! Posts vary from ramblings, rants and I’m sure I’ve spied a recipe in there somewhere?!

The school Christmas holidays have well and truly begun, so I’m sure over the coming days, the trappings of family life will result in Mummy and Boo retreating up to our master suite (laptop under arm) and who knows Boo may just allow me the odd post or two!

Come Christmas Eve whether you’re sipping champagne cocktails – in which case I’m burning holes in the back of your head with my envious glare, or fearing to open the fridge in case a stray brussel sprout makes a bid for freedom; Mummy and Boo wish you a fabulously festive Christmas!

Yesterday afternoon was not a pretty sight.  Mummy and Boo were meandering the aisles of Asda seeking to forage enough food to sustain the mammoth family awaiting us at home.  All in all with our blended family there are six discerning mouths to feed.  I fear that there is simply not a big enough trolley in the country that would accommodate the weird and wonderful things that grace our weekly receipt.

Boo decided that now was the time to take a sudden dislike to bright lights (up until this point I always thought her dream holiday destination would be Las Vegas!).  It seems too that friends and family  took this moment to ring my phone for a catch up, always a joy dissecting a friends’ marriage when browsing the toilet paper.

You only have to read bounty along with other website to see that online shopping is ranked as one of the highest time saving practices – so for such a self proclaimed time efficient woman, how come I was still trudging the supermarket car park in fear that at any moment, the trolley and Boo would become runaway?

Once home and unpacked (conveniently all helping hands were either in the bathroom or doing ‘important’ homework) I settled Boo and sat down with a coffee determined never to repeat that Thursday afternoon debacle. 

I uploaded our receipt details from yesterday’s visit and it cleverly added these items to my favourites, within twenty minutes I had done the shopping for the following week and picked a delivery slot that suits Boo’s diary not to mention afternoon nap!

So according to Asda my shopping will be delivered on Wednesday between 4pm – 6pm, I’ll update you next week on how it went and hopefully look forward to placing another order, this time with a glass or white wine in hand as with the joy on online shopping I’m able to add forgotten item to my trolley up until 10om he night before delivery – so no more forgetting the pinot!

I’m sure this is nothing new to most of you, and Boo and I are simply catching up, but hey now we have an extra three hours a week to amuse ourselves with, the possibilities are endless as to new mischief in store for mummyandboo!

 Mummy xx