Tinder Tales

A couple of weeks ago when I shared my Thoroughly Modern Mother Dilemma I completely left out any mention to online dating; the reason why? It’s because I’ve come to the conclusion that it is a whole mini saga in it’s own right. Dating has never been the smoothest of past times, so the lure of streamlining choices and saving time, all from the apparent comfort of your sofa was a big draw for me… Oh how naive I was. Don’t get me wrong there have been plenty of moments of laughter: both ‘I don’t know whether to laugh or cry’ and ‘I’m definitely laughing at you, not with you’.

Digital dating is an absolute minefield – with compatibility tests and costly monthly fees after the initial trial period is over, I got to thinking that the fairly innovative and instantaneous approach of Tinder was too good not to try, plus there’s still moments when I think I’m in with the cool crowd as I cling to my twenties, so if it’s good enough for the hipster who have more street style that I have junk in my trunk then who am I to give it a miss.

I initially signed up a couple of years ago and did it over a cuppa with my friend, we thought it was hilarious – it was, at least at first – we couldn’t believe how gratifying it was to have Roman emperor like power with the simple swipe of a finger. But the hilarity was short lived.

Tinder-Tales-Modern-Motherhood-Dating

Soon I discovered that almost every male within 200km was on Tinder, yes even some of my friend’s husbands – talk about modern day dilemmas and hideous awkwardness! Then there were the men who were weird and did little to hide it after the initial exchange of pleasantries once matched.

However my abiding memory of Tinder has to be one particular match: Within seconds of matching, I received the following message: Hi, I’m going to cut the small talk, would you ever consider having sex with me? Now I’m not sure what I find more disturbing? The fact he sent this or that he was showing as being less than one kilometre from my house; meaning the likelihood that he knows who I am or we pass each other by on a regular basis is higher than me succumbing to the dessert menu after I say I’m on a diet!

I slipped into a cycle of being horrified by what I saw, deleting the app, vowing never to go on again, fast forward three months, downloading it again and finding myself back at square one. This continued until three months ago when I finally succumbed to the fact that Mr Right isn’t lurking behind a swipe of a finger or a bombardment of dick pics…. EWWWWWWWWWWWW

So with a Tinderless phone and a promise to steer clear… what now for the time strapped single mama? Do I keep on with the world of digital dating and accept that it’s populated with the freakier of the species (maybe I’m a beacon that attracts them?!?! I’m the lighthouse for undesirables in the dating world!) or acknowledge that not all things digital are better – did I really just say that – and attempt to find a date the old fashion way, in person.

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17 Comments

  1. September 23, 2016 / 10:54

    I signed up to Tinder once and started chatting to what seemed a nice guy .. we were in the process of arranging to meet up and then he announced he was married!!

    I finally met my other half on POF … again there are weirdos and randoms on there but I found it slightly better!
    Nikki recently posted..#30bbdaysofGratitude … Day 23 and Accomplishments!My Profile

  2. September 23, 2016 / 13:35

    I met my husband online dating 8 1/2 years ago. That was Dating Direct, though I suppose these days I’d probably opt for Match(dot)com if I was to do it over again. (I hope I never have to though!) The whole idea of Tinder just kind of weirds me out actually. But I wish you best of luck with whatever method you choose for meeting someone right for you. Its not easy, but ultimately so worth it in the end.
    Kelly recently posted..Green & Sustainable Style Edit – September 2016My Profile

  3. September 23, 2016 / 14:18

    I have never heard anything good about Tinder, I think there are better apps out there!

  4. September 23, 2016 / 16:11

    I have to admit I have never ever been on Tinder it definitely sounds like a different world. x

  5. September 23, 2016 / 21:22

    I am so glad I did dating before Tinder. It’s not something I would veer be comfortable with. BUT retro online dating – how I met Dave – can be a good way of meeting like minded people. There are normal people on it – whereas I think with Tinder the majority just want… Netflix and chill! x
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  6. September 24, 2016 / 08:59

    Part of me thinks it’s good guys are upfront about what they want rather than leading you on but other times it makes me wonder where are the guys who want a relationship or want something more than sex? Sorry you had such a bad experience, online dating can be horrific x
    Rhian Westbury recently posted..Halloween Homeware HaulMy Profile

  7. September 24, 2016 / 09:36

    I have never tried the online dating stuff. Didn’t think it would have been for me.

  8. September 24, 2016 / 10:20

    I have never been on Tinder but two of my work colleagues met their girlfriends using it and one has just proposed, so I am sure for every weirdo there is a guy with a good heart x

  9. September 24, 2016 / 19:34

    I’m from the age where you met at work or via a friend. The thought of digital dating fills me with dread, but I have friends who have found happiness though it and even got married so there must be something working you’ve just got to swim though the dross first

  10. Hannah
    September 25, 2016 / 08:56

    I had Tinder for about an hour and deleted it lol not for me!!

  11. September 25, 2016 / 13:03

    Gosh, I really don’t think I could have done the whole online dating thing and I still don’t think I could do it now if I was ever in the position so kudos to you for giving it a try! A load of my friends are on Tinder and other like minded apps with mostly the same results although the odd good guy has come out of it for a couple of them xx
    Charli Bruce recently posted..What’s Your Flavour? Lip SmackersMy Profile

  12. September 25, 2016 / 21:20

    I think dating the old fashion way can really be the best way about it! Things happen for a reason and sometimes going online is tempting fate

  13. Jemma
    September 26, 2016 / 12:56

    I’ve been hearing a lot about Tinder recently but have no plans to sign up to it.

  14. September 26, 2016 / 20:02

    I’ll never forget being on a plane and hearing a lad chat up the cabin hostess by asking if she was on Tinder? His sleazy manner really put me off the site – I know I shouldn’t judge a whole site by one man but he was truly awful!

  15. September 26, 2016 / 23:38

    Hahah there are some real creeps out there on Tinder! I used to have it as a joke when everyone first started downloading but never met up with anyone on it because it weirded me out too much!

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