Couples Night Out: An Open Letter To My Friends

I’m single, we know it and coupled with motherhood my relationship status doesn’t look set to change anytime soon and I’m comfortable with that but it would appear that perhaps others aren’t.

I really want to get this out now that this post is in now way targeted at one particular set of my friends (I love you all!), see it more as an observation on the whole but it’s something that I can’t pretend I don’t notice or more importantly doesn’t affect me. You know them, couples nights: they normally consist of boozy dinners, a chance to come together, catch up, eat good food and laugh – sounds good – where do I sign up? Although it would seem that as a woman identifying as single, I don’t qualify for this social activity. And if I’m really honest, I can’t work out why.

single-parenting-motherhood

Do they feel uncomfortable? Does MY presence make them feel uncomfortable? Is the empty chair the painful elephant in the room, is there a fear of the single life being contagious?

Is the lack of invite done out of a misguided desire to protect me from feeling like the odd one out, the only thing I feel left out of is the one too many bottles of red wine you shared over dinner. I remember what couples night out look like and I’m pretty certain that there is no secret language…

Do my friends need a break from my relationship status – is it a burden to know that there is no men/women’s jobs in my house… Yes that mean’s I’m responsible for taking the rubbish out every single week, how ever do I survive!

There’s a pretty high chance that if I’m invited I’ll say no as child free evenings are hard to come by but it would nice not to be written off before the invite; serving only to remind me that being a single mother puts your in a juxtaposition where I’m on the edge looking in and most probably missing out on making memories with my friends.

Am I being unreasonable? Or oversensitive? The truth is, I don’t know – but as my friends you’re probably best placed to tell me…

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7 Comments

  1. January 13, 2017 / 11:50

    Great post – I have lots of single friends and we equally host tons of nights at our house where we see other couples. I always do a mix though as I believe I can pay just as much attention to being a friend as i do to being a wife at the dinner table and on nights out.
    Getting together with those of whom you enjoy their company shouldn’t stop at just couples!
    Mary Louise recently posted..A Letter To my LoveMy Profile

  2. January 13, 2017 / 11:52

    I’ve been married for 18 years and never been on a couples night! From what I’ve heard it’s people moaning about house prices and schools. I’m sure staying at home is the better option!
    Ness recently posted..Finance Fridays – Blogging Your Way To RichesMy Profile

  3. January 13, 2017 / 23:09

    Yep, I was going to say exactly the same as Ness, we never go on couple’s nights because we can’t keep asking people to babysit for us. So it would be more likely that each of us would go out on singles nights. But I totally get where you’re coming from, it’s irrelevant if a night out is for couples / singles or whoever, it’s about being asked to go regardless – being included. I do hope your friends take the hint!
    Nat.x
    Plutonium Sox recently posted..Prezzybox Valentine’s day competitionMy Profile

  4. January 14, 2017 / 08:56

    The only night out we have is a quiz night and yes, we are a team of two couples, however we are only allowed teams of four. When one of us cannot make it we take single friends. When I was a single parent I tended to go out on girly nights anyway, nothing worse than watching people fawning over each other LOL
    Kara recently posted..Saturday is Caption Day – 14th January 2017My Profile

  5. January 15, 2017 / 16:46

    That’s really interesting as I deliberately wouldn’t plan a couples night if I thought I had a single friend who would feel left out – I would never have thought to just go ahead and plan it and invite them as I thought thatthey would feel uncomfortable. Thanks for sharing the way you feel – I’ll remember next time as my friends might feel the same x x
    Cass Bailey recently posted..Healthy 3 ingredient coconut oil chocolate….My Profile

  6. January 16, 2017 / 11:41

    22 years married and never been to a couples night. You have made me think I may be missing out on something! I think that as a couple that have no babysitting options we are often excluded too as only one of us goes out at a time!
    Jen Walshaw recently posted..DIY Craft Foam StampsMy Profile

  7. January 19, 2017 / 10:33

    You’ve made me think actually…..we don’t have many couples nights, definitely not many with more than one couple, but I like to think I wouldn’t exclude someone!
    Emma recently posted..The Pet DilemmaMy Profile

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